Lia performed this piece last June 3 at the Youth for Mental Health Coalition's fundraiser, SAUDADE: The Love That Remains.
To you, my first aid kit
Study your new patient.
Study the way they move,
The way they talk,
The way they laugh,
The way they sleep,
The way they breathe.
Study what are the words they keep repeating, including the ones that are ticking in their minds.
Study their eyes that are so easily distracted.
Study their hands that are so easily bruised.
Study every single part of their soul as though you were falling in love.
To you, all first aid kits
Study your patient
You should know every scratch, every scar, every fresh open wound they have.
Know that their physical wounds are the result of the monstrous invisible
You should know why their blood seeps through their skin as if it were sweat.
Know why your Biogesic does not stop oceans’ water pour out of them every night.
Know why your alcohol does not stop the earthquakes of their body.
Know why your Bandaid or even your Gauze does not stop the paint dripping from their painted out canvas.
Find out why your patient is like glass shattering on a loop.
Find out why your patient can’t seem to notice your voice when you call them,
Why when they finally acknowledge you and lifts their head, you see eyes that are –
As you thought they were –
To you, my first aid kit.
I am truly sorry.
I was your first patient, and sadly your first patient had to be the one convulsing,
Had to have a heart jumping,
Had to have the eyes twitching.
That day was your first time to handle and see a case like mine.
And when I flatlined, you didn’t know what you did wrong.
You followed your textbook exactly the way it was written and yet you still lost me.
Its obvious why you lost me.
To all you first aid kits.
Not everything is textbook based.
Life is not a book you can read and learn.
Life is a cruel god of the maze.
There will be twists and turns you will always see coming but you will never prepare yourself enough for it.
There will be monsters that will look like angels and angels that will look like demons.
And they will all try to trick you.
To you, all first aid kits
Don’t let your let your patient flatline.
Don’t let the god of the maze fool you.
Don’t treat your patient like a manual.
Treat them like your favorite book.
And someday…just someday
You will save their lives
"I wanted to get these out before I grew too old for the particular brand of millennial misery poems Maybe later on I’ll call it the lost days And maybe even later I’ll just ca
"a tribute to the broken: an open letter" Broken, scathed, scarred, and worst, shattered like tiny pieces of sharp-edged fragments of glasses Barely breathing, barely breathing, b
i’m a bottle suppressed, stuffed with dried up tears and dreams that remain as dreams, words unsaid and crumpled up thoughts, neatly folded emotions and everything that othe